How do we know when to go home? I have mixed emotions when I go back to Baltimore. I love seeing family and friends, but I feel constricted by the sameness and smallness. Gabe is always nostalgic about Baltimore and would probably like to move back. I've never loved Baltimore and occasionally would wonder about my real home. So far, Atlanta has felt like home because it's so child friendly and it's where we bought our first home and had our children. We've also made good friends here.
Still, every time we say goodbye to my uncle and aunt I always think about moving back to Maryland. They are there as well as Namu and our other friends. I usually make a pro/con list. I'm always the one who is reluctant to move. However, I got really sad when my uncle and aunt left this time and decided maybe I should really consider moving. I can find a job anywhere and Gabe can figure something out.
When I asked Gai how she would decide, she told me that family is always her first priority. She can never move far from them. When I visited India for Jitin's wedding, I was struck by his family ties. Ms. Elonda, who is moving home to South Carolina, told me that her father says that people return home when they are in their 40's (I'm 40 and Gabe is 41).
However, I think Gabe and I are different. I think we are a bit nomadic because we are sometimes restless. Family is important to us, but perhaps it is our nuclear family that is our priority.
It's funny that I have been thinking about this and this was my daily quote from the Happiness Project:A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. -George Moore
Here is my list of pros and cons.
Georgia Pros:
my job
Gustav's school
our house
Atlanta is family friendly
friends
Georgia Cons:
no family support
my hours may be reduced due to ending grant
Gabe's job (hard commute, pay cut)
house is too big for us and I hate the maintenance
Maryland Pros:
Gabe wants to move but it could just be nostalgia
my aunt and uncle - I want them to be a presence in the children's lives while they are still young and active
Namu
possibly better job for Gabe
my MD house is paid off so we can save money while we decide if we want to buy again
we could rent an apartment/condo with amenities (pool, playground) that is in the city
we could live in DC
can rent GA house
I can get a job at UMCP or UMBC or JHU/APL (would be nice to be near Namu)
Maryland Cons:
logistics and expense of move (packing, wrapping up work, renting house)
would need to secure job before moving for health benefits
Baltimore may feel claustrophobic to me
we may decide that we don't like it there and have to move again
finding a new daycare for Greta and a school for Gustav
probably can't afford a house as nice as our GA house especially if we move to Howard County
starting over at a new job
higher cost of living