Barry, Gabe's father and the children's Poppy, passed away on February 11, 2015.
He had his first stroke at the end of 2010, I think. He still managed okay living near Aunt Kitty until he was moved to Catholic Charities in 2013. He experienced another stroke in 2014 which left him unable to swallow. After time spent in the hospital, he was moved to a nursing home.
After an infection sent him back to the hospital where the doctor recommended amputation, Gabe gave his consent to put him in hospice.
He passed away at 3:20am on Wednesday. We got the call from Aunt Kitty that morning. It was strange because Gabe usually keeps his phone by his bed but this time he didn't. I didn't sleep well that night and had such vivid dreams.
We quickly made a plan of action. Gabe would contact the funeral home and I would contact the cemetery. We soon learned that even with a basic and simple burial, it would be quite costly. Since Barry was more or less an indigent, Gabe and I would be responsible for the costs. And the funeral home would only take a check:-/
He passed on Wednesday, we spent Wednesday and Thursday making plans, and then we left on Friday after school. In between all that, Gabe and I still went to work and we had the children's Valentine's celebrations. On Friday, as we were packing the car to leave for school, I misplaced a folder with all my notes about Barry's funeral. When we reconvened at home after school, Gabe sprained/broke his finger on the staircase railing looking for my folder. We left without it.
On the drive up, Greta threw up in Richmond. I posted on Facebook about not needing any more incidents after the missing folder, injured finger, and the vomiting. Guess what! Turns out that Gabe had placed my folder on top of the car with his banana and my neighbor found both the folder and banana in front of her house!
We arrived in Maryland at 5am on Saturday, slept a bit, and then Gabe went to the cemetery with Gustav while I stayed at the hotel with Greta. The cemetery couldn't find the paperwork and wanted to charge us twice what I was quoted. I texted my neighbor in a panic and her husband texted me back a photo of my notes. The cemetery finally decided to honor the original quote after Gabe had been there for over an hour.
He made it back to the hotel just in time to change and for us to go to the funeral home for the memorial. It was actually lovely with very nice words from Leslie, Zak, Gabe, Diane, Sherry, and Barry's old friend Tim. Afterward we went to the Double T Diner for old time sake. It was a very cozy dinner as it had started to snow.
The next morning a few of us met at the Charles since Gabe was a guest speaker in honor of Barry and Sheryl's many happy times spent at CSC.We received a really warm welcome at the Charles. The kids stormed the front when Gabe was making his opening speech and they upstaged him a bit with their antics.
After the movie, as I was telling Sherry about how I told Barry's relatives that no one should be feeling guilt because in Barry's last days, Sheryl was probably waiting for him with open arms, Sherry exclaimed that when she got the call to go to the nursing home, Journey's Open Arms came on the radio and it made her think of her mother.
And while Gabe was talking to Sheryl's family after the movie, they saw a box with Barry on it.
Gabe said that the memorial would have exceeded Barry's expectations.
Photos are here and obituary is here.
He had his first stroke at the end of 2010, I think. He still managed okay living near Aunt Kitty until he was moved to Catholic Charities in 2013. He experienced another stroke in 2014 which left him unable to swallow. After time spent in the hospital, he was moved to a nursing home.
After an infection sent him back to the hospital where the doctor recommended amputation, Gabe gave his consent to put him in hospice.
He passed away at 3:20am on Wednesday. We got the call from Aunt Kitty that morning. It was strange because Gabe usually keeps his phone by his bed but this time he didn't. I didn't sleep well that night and had such vivid dreams.
We quickly made a plan of action. Gabe would contact the funeral home and I would contact the cemetery. We soon learned that even with a basic and simple burial, it would be quite costly. Since Barry was more or less an indigent, Gabe and I would be responsible for the costs. And the funeral home would only take a check:-/
He passed on Wednesday, we spent Wednesday and Thursday making plans, and then we left on Friday after school. In between all that, Gabe and I still went to work and we had the children's Valentine's celebrations. On Friday, as we were packing the car to leave for school, I misplaced a folder with all my notes about Barry's funeral. When we reconvened at home after school, Gabe sprained/broke his finger on the staircase railing looking for my folder. We left without it.
On the drive up, Greta threw up in Richmond. I posted on Facebook about not needing any more incidents after the missing folder, injured finger, and the vomiting. Guess what! Turns out that Gabe had placed my folder on top of the car with his banana and my neighbor found both the folder and banana in front of her house!
We arrived in Maryland at 5am on Saturday, slept a bit, and then Gabe went to the cemetery with Gustav while I stayed at the hotel with Greta. The cemetery couldn't find the paperwork and wanted to charge us twice what I was quoted. I texted my neighbor in a panic and her husband texted me back a photo of my notes. The cemetery finally decided to honor the original quote after Gabe had been there for over an hour.
He made it back to the hotel just in time to change and for us to go to the funeral home for the memorial. It was actually lovely with very nice words from Leslie, Zak, Gabe, Diane, Sherry, and Barry's old friend Tim. Afterward we went to the Double T Diner for old time sake. It was a very cozy dinner as it had started to snow.
The next morning a few of us met at the Charles since Gabe was a guest speaker in honor of Barry and Sheryl's many happy times spent at CSC.We received a really warm welcome at the Charles. The kids stormed the front when Gabe was making his opening speech and they upstaged him a bit with their antics.
After the movie, as I was telling Sherry about how I told Barry's relatives that no one should be feeling guilt because in Barry's last days, Sheryl was probably waiting for him with open arms, Sherry exclaimed that when she got the call to go to the nursing home, Journey's Open Arms came on the radio and it made her think of her mother.
And while Gabe was talking to Sheryl's family after the movie, they saw a box with Barry on it.
Gabe said that the memorial would have exceeded Barry's expectations.
Photos are here and obituary is here.
BTW, Gustav told me that he won't be sad when I die because he knows that I love him to infinity and beyoind.