We received a letter from the active alcoholic in our life, and we both just shook our heads. She doesn't get it. She accused Gabe of having a mid -life crisis and reiterated all of her sacrifices when he was young, such us breaking up with two boyfriends.
All stuff from over 30 years ago and irrelevant today. What is relevant is the drinking and the narcissism. The last time Gabe saw her, she was drunk and face-planted on the curb. It was very traumatic for him to see all the blood and cracked tooth.Then all the drama when we helped sell her house.
So much toxic behavior that has created a pattern of people cutting her off, and yet here we are again. It's Gabe who is having a mid-life crisis. It's me being selfish because I chose to help neighbors whose house burnt down. It's always the other person. Her step-daughters who would only speak to their dad. His coworkers and friends who wouldn't speak to her. Her husband suggested she suffered from narcissism, and she was confused because she claims to have no self-esteem. Narcissism is a disorder; if you had self-esteem, you wouldn't have the disorder.
We've done a lot for this person, and it will never be enough. It was suggested to me that Gustav would learn compassion with our engagement with this person. Gustav is already an exceptionally compassionate person. What he needs to learn is healthy boundaries with toxic people so that he has the best chance possible for a functional life.
We took a break from her to get back our life. Her stay with us was extremely destructive to our family and we needed to put the pieces together. We didn't want any more drama. Yet here we are again.
All stuff from over 30 years ago and irrelevant today. What is relevant is the drinking and the narcissism. The last time Gabe saw her, she was drunk and face-planted on the curb. It was very traumatic for him to see all the blood and cracked tooth.Then all the drama when we helped sell her house.
So much toxic behavior that has created a pattern of people cutting her off, and yet here we are again. It's Gabe who is having a mid-life crisis. It's me being selfish because I chose to help neighbors whose house burnt down. It's always the other person. Her step-daughters who would only speak to their dad. His coworkers and friends who wouldn't speak to her. Her husband suggested she suffered from narcissism, and she was confused because she claims to have no self-esteem. Narcissism is a disorder; if you had self-esteem, you wouldn't have the disorder.
We've done a lot for this person, and it will never be enough. It was suggested to me that Gustav would learn compassion with our engagement with this person. Gustav is already an exceptionally compassionate person. What he needs to learn is healthy boundaries with toxic people so that he has the best chance possible for a functional life.
We took a break from her to get back our life. Her stay with us was extremely destructive to our family and we needed to put the pieces together. We didn't want any more drama. Yet here we are again.