I admit that I wish Gabe were more interested in home and garden. We have a lovely house but I can't seem to engage him in the care of it. I look around my neighborhood and see all the beautiful gardens and the loving care that people take of their homes; it's obvious how proud they are of it.
I want to be like that. I want to be proud of my home. I want my husband and I to plan a vegetable garden, decide on which home project to tackle next, what color to paint a room, etc. However, Gabe is not that interested. He says that he has no affinity with things like gardening or home repair.
A couple of weekends ago he tried to fix something in the attic. He slipped and his foot went through the ceiling of our guest room below. He said that that was the last time he did any type of home repair. He explained that he just doesn't have an affinity for it.
Yes, it was I who wanted to buy a house and it was I who fell in love with this house. Gabe was pretty ambivalent throughout the entire process of buying the house. He really would be happy in just a 2 bedroom apartment. However, I hated throwing money away on rent and I wanted to create a home.
I thought he would come around to the idea of home ownership, but it's been over 2 years and he is still ambivalent. And he hates doing the chores and maintenance that are associated with home ownership.
Lately I've started to regret this decision. As much as I love my house, it's not a home. I don't have the time or energy to make it a home. I have a full-time job and when I am at home, I want to play with Gustav. When Gustav is sleeping, Gabe and I are making and having dinner. On the weekends, Gabe wants us to do things with the baby; he doesn't want to do household chores. Instead of home and garden being a shared hobby, it's a bit of an albatross. This house is where we sleep and it's a storage for our things.
I guess I can't blame him. He's the executive director of a non-profit, which means that he spends a lot of hours working. He oftentimes wakes up early to do work, or he works late at night and on weekends. It got so bad that I asked him to put his iphone away when he was home. There were no boundaries between home and work. His personal life was suffering. So now when he isn't working, he wants to have fun with his family, and not work on the house.
I think if the housing market were better, we'd probably sell. As a compromise, we'd probably move into a condo, in the city. It would have the size and lack of maintenance that he'd prefer. We would own it, which is what I'd prefer. A compromise.
I'm a little disappointed because I've always envisioned living in a home with a beautiful garden, where my kids can run around. We bought this large house with the intention of having Barry here and 2-3 kids. Well, Barry moved back to Baltimore so it's just the three of us. The house is too large for us.
Also, I did buy a house with as minimal lawn as possible but it's still too much for us. I hate the idea of fertilizers, watering, etc. - what a waste of resources! I read about some folks who turned their front yard into an organic garden, but I'm sure my HOA would not like that!
The one good thing about this house is the number of visitors that we've had. When we lived in Sonoma, no one came to visit. Here we've had a constant flow of visitors and we had a lovely Hugel reunion at Thanksgiving.
I think I'm feeling restless because I like the energy of researching possibilities - where to live, the best route to take, etc. - when it's time to move. We've lived in this house for over 2 years now. Before then, we moved cross country twice within one year, and we were in the apartment in midtown for about 7 months when we bought the house. I always thought I craved domestic stability, but now I'm beginning to miss the excitement of being on the move...
I want to be like that. I want to be proud of my home. I want my husband and I to plan a vegetable garden, decide on which home project to tackle next, what color to paint a room, etc. However, Gabe is not that interested. He says that he has no affinity with things like gardening or home repair.
A couple of weekends ago he tried to fix something in the attic. He slipped and his foot went through the ceiling of our guest room below. He said that that was the last time he did any type of home repair. He explained that he just doesn't have an affinity for it.
Yes, it was I who wanted to buy a house and it was I who fell in love with this house. Gabe was pretty ambivalent throughout the entire process of buying the house. He really would be happy in just a 2 bedroom apartment. However, I hated throwing money away on rent and I wanted to create a home.
I thought he would come around to the idea of home ownership, but it's been over 2 years and he is still ambivalent. And he hates doing the chores and maintenance that are associated with home ownership.
Lately I've started to regret this decision. As much as I love my house, it's not a home. I don't have the time or energy to make it a home. I have a full-time job and when I am at home, I want to play with Gustav. When Gustav is sleeping, Gabe and I are making and having dinner. On the weekends, Gabe wants us to do things with the baby; he doesn't want to do household chores. Instead of home and garden being a shared hobby, it's a bit of an albatross. This house is where we sleep and it's a storage for our things.
I guess I can't blame him. He's the executive director of a non-profit, which means that he spends a lot of hours working. He oftentimes wakes up early to do work, or he works late at night and on weekends. It got so bad that I asked him to put his iphone away when he was home. There were no boundaries between home and work. His personal life was suffering. So now when he isn't working, he wants to have fun with his family, and not work on the house.
I think if the housing market were better, we'd probably sell. As a compromise, we'd probably move into a condo, in the city. It would have the size and lack of maintenance that he'd prefer. We would own it, which is what I'd prefer. A compromise.
I'm a little disappointed because I've always envisioned living in a home with a beautiful garden, where my kids can run around. We bought this large house with the intention of having Barry here and 2-3 kids. Well, Barry moved back to Baltimore so it's just the three of us. The house is too large for us.
Also, I did buy a house with as minimal lawn as possible but it's still too much for us. I hate the idea of fertilizers, watering, etc. - what a waste of resources! I read about some folks who turned their front yard into an organic garden, but I'm sure my HOA would not like that!
The one good thing about this house is the number of visitors that we've had. When we lived in Sonoma, no one came to visit. Here we've had a constant flow of visitors and we had a lovely Hugel reunion at Thanksgiving.
I think I'm feeling restless because I like the energy of researching possibilities - where to live, the best route to take, etc. - when it's time to move. We've lived in this house for over 2 years now. Before then, we moved cross country twice within one year, and we were in the apartment in midtown for about 7 months when we bought the house. I always thought I craved domestic stability, but now I'm beginning to miss the excitement of being on the move...